I am here…

I am back from a week away at Cancun, Mexico. Blue waters and sun-kissed sands… the sound of the ocean is so healing! And during this week, my practice was returning over and over to the mantra: I am HERE. 

Photo of sunrise taken on Solstice morning 12/21/22 in Cancun, Mexico.

Here is the word buddhist teacher Gil Fronsdal offers for the first of seven factors of awakening that support the path of awakening and freedom. Coming back to Here for me was sensing the sand under my toes, the sounds of the rise and fall of ocean waves, seeing the blue of the ocean and watching the pelicans glide the wind, dive down into the waters and swim, so seemingly effortlessly! It was feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin, tasting the tapioca pudding for breakfast, smelling the salty air and the receiving the water washing my toes as I stood on the beach. Here. 

Returning and sustaining our attention on the sensations of the present moment helps us stay grounded with change, and attend to our inner needs in a kind way and attune to the needs of others by reading their body language. Here allows wisdom to unfold in a way that feels so organic, tender and natural. Every time our attention wanders and we notice IS an opportunity to return Here. Here is laughter, ease, contentment, joy, bliss, awe, solitude, companionship and most of all: riding the waves of change with ease.

In his book Neurodharma, Rick Hansen talks about having a positive experience, enriching it and absorbing it so that it becomes an implicit memory and is more readily available during moments of stress. Perhaps, savoring the experiences of this past week by feeling them in my body and noticing the moments of ease, connection and beauty, I have deepened my own sense of well-being. This morning waking up without ocean sounds, I could remember them, recollect how they felt in my body and relax. And return to the Here now.

I am home now – in my daughter’s room as I listen to piano sounds wafting up from her playing Silent Night. Here is silent. No ocean waves. Here is wonderful! 

Are you Here? Take a few moments to sense your body, your breath, the sounds, the temperature. Are you comfortable?  Are you safe? What does your here feel like? 

I leave you with this beautiful track – one of my favorites on Insight Timer. May you be safe, and may your Here be filled with ease.

With love, S.

Gratitude is the open door to abundance…

Frame on gratitude quotes, purchased in Ogunquit, ME

This frame resides in my meditation room, and often inspires me to hold the intention to have an attitude of gratitude. Each time I read it, depending on the state of my mind, a particular sentence stands out to me. For example, one of the sentences I love in this is about Piglet. I loved reading Winnie the pooh to my daughter, and we both love the stories so much that we have continued returning to them often. Piglet’s character in particular is one I can resonate with: like Piglet, I am afraid easily – I am scared of roller coasters, of swimming in the deep, of horror movies and when I was a child, I was afraid of loud fire-crackers, of the dark and many other things. And yet Piglet experienced what it was like to be brave and to be accepted for who he was. And Piglet’s heart can hold enormous amount of gratitude.

Our capacity to take in the beauty of life, to pause and savor the sweet little moments and to show up with openness for the difficult moments strengthens the heart. Gratitude connects directly to this: it helps us incline our attention and how we pay attention (wise effort) and it arises when we reflect on our experiences and take in the blessings in our lives. Indeed, ‘life is a series of thousands of miracles’. The invitation is to notice them.

When suffering falls away what is revealed is not a big blank but a natural sense of gratitude, good wishes for others, freedom and ease.

Rick hansen (in his book: Neurodharma)

Indeed sometimes gratitude arises spontaneously and at other times, we can cultivate this gratitude. Cultivation is the word Gil Fronsdal uses to summarize the seven factors of awakening that arise through mindfulness practice. Like cultivating a garden, we tend to these qualities with kind attention and care.

So how can we cultivate gratitude? One way to practice is to notice the moments of ease and peace and spaciousness in our lives, the ordinary moments when things are right, when there is absence of clinging or aversion, when conditions outside our control have conspired to create something beautiful for us. Another way to practice is to use what one of my teachers Tara Brach often reminds us of which is the Bodhisattva intention: ‘may this serve to awaken’, or the inquiry: ‘what is the opportunity here?’. This is particularly helpful in difficult moments and help us reconnect with gratitude and the kind compassionate attention that can hold all that comes along, like a mother’s warm embrace for her child. When I remember this inquiry, it helps me return to my intention to hold gratitude in my heart for all that comes along.

I leave you with this beautiful quote from Rumi:

“Be grateful for your life, every detail of it, and your face will come to shine like a sun, and everyone who sees it will be made glad and peaceful. Persist in gratitude, and you will slowly become one with the Sun of Love, and Love will shine through you its all-healing joy. The path of gratitude is not for children; it is path of tender heroes, of the heroes of tenderness who, whatever happens, keep burning on the altar of their hearts the flame of adoration.”

Rumi

May your day unfold with many moments of gratitude!

with metta, S.

peace in the moment…

Photo by Matteo Basile on Pexels.com

I was lying down on a yoga mat on Sunapee beach – it was our last beach visit of this summer. My eyes closed, my body sinking into the floor of the mat. I could hear the voices of my daughter and husband in the background, chatting away. I could feel the movement of my breath and the warmth of the sun and the air touching my body – and my body molding into the shape that received this air, and the surface beneath me. I could feel the tension in my neck and right shoulder – and I felt no inclination to fix it. Just a subtle softening into the tension, a gentle acceptance.

I felt a deep peace. And also awe. This moment was perfect just as it was.

I was happy enough to stay still

inside the pearl inside the shell,

but the hurricane of experience

lashed me out of hiding

and made me a wave moving into shore,

saying loudly the ocean’s secret

as I went, and then, spent there,

I slept like fog against the cliff,

another stillness.

Rumi (translated by Coleman Barks)

I would soon feel the urge to move, to join the others. But not yet…This was the time to linger in this peace, to soak it in, to let it permeate deep into the cells of my body…

with gratitude, S.

To live each day as if it were your last…

Photo by Dylan Howell on Pexels.com

To live each day as if it were your last…these are the words that came to my mind as I was biking the last up hill stretch on the road leading to my home. My nearly 12-year old daughter had already made it to the top. We had taken a very pleasant bike ride on a cool summer cloudy afternoon when it had threatened to rain. It was one of our last days of summer vacation before school began for both of us. If this were my last day, would I be happy? Would I be content with the way my life has unfolded? Would I be at peace?

Even though I have been practicing metta and mindfulness for many years and now am training to be a mindfulness teacher, there are many moments in my day when I am not awake. I am in a trance/dreamlike state where it feels like I am here, but life is not in full focus. I only realize this when I return to the present moment – and how fresh and alive it feels! And here is an opportunity. To realize that I am NOW awake – instead of berating myself for being away. As Joseph Goldstein points out in a recent 10 percent happier episode, this is a helpful way of practicing. My teacher Tara Brach says this over and over again – this (moment when we return) is a moment of re-member-ing and re-relaxing in the body.

‘It does not matter how long we have been unconscious. We are groggy, but let the guilt go. Feel the motions of tenderness around you. the buoyancy‘.

Rumi

So as I rode up the hill, I remembered this question – what if this day were my last. Would I be ok?

I think I would be very grateful! For having a life more beautiful than anything I could have imagined. For having just enough suffering and pain for me to reach for and stay on a spiritual path; for having more than enough joy for me to have balance; and for having equanimity – the letting go of wanting anything more! More than anything, for being present, here and right now. If this were my last day, I would be grateful to be here and be with the people I love.

How about you? Are you living this day as if it were your last? If not, what is in the way? Can you ask this question with great tenderness and kindness so that you can really listen to the response from your heart?

In kindness, S.

Lessons from the ocean…

What is it about the ocean that brings such peace? Is there anything that I could say that has not been said before, and more eloquently than others?

Even so, I’m going to try to capture some felt experiences of being at the beach this past week in Maine:

  • Things arise and they pass away. If you pay attention, you can just discern a wave crashing, even as another is rising…and it is a never ending cycle. Just like the breath. That is comforting. It also reminded me of a powerful realization that my breath will be with my until the moment I die! Literally. So, if I am ever terrified or scared, I just need to remember to breathe. I actually understood what Rumi meant by: ‘Don’t let your throat tighten with fear. Take sips of breath all day and night!’.
  • What wild abandon looks like. My daughter Anjali is a water lover and a good swimmer. At nine, she sits down on the sand and lets the waves crash over her. She jumps into waves. She runs a race with them. She lays down and allows the ocean to embrace her. I have never met anyone like her, with no fear, and no self-consciousness. And the water was ice-cold! It was inspiring and it pushed me to let go a little bit of control. To let go, and lean in. Into the unknown and the uncertainty of this moment!
  • Thoughts arise and pass. We don’t have to act on them. We can, if we choose to. But there is that moment of choice, and in that moment also abides the freedom. If only we can slow down. It is easy to slow down by the ocean, to be lulled into the state of being, witnessing and abiding in love.
  • When we relax into the moment, give up our plans and agendas, we actually have more energy! I found that I had boundless energy to go with the flow, and at the end of the day, I felt at peace. No resistance, no pushing away.
  • So much beauty surrounds us. We can so easily take it for granted. Especially now, more than ever, we see our surroundings with new eyes. ‘A feeling of fullness comes, but usually it takes some bread to bring it. Beauty surrounds us, but usually we need to be walking in a garden to know it.’ (Rumi)
  • Appreciating the body. The body without which experience on this earth would not be possible. As Mary Oliver says in ‘Red bird explains himself’, “for truly the body needs a song, a spirit, a soul. And no less, to make this work, the soul has need of a body, and I am both of the earth and I am of the inexplicable beauty of heaven“.

So, let’s breathe. Feel the ocean within us. And ‘enjoy this being washed with a secret we sometimes know, and then not’ (Rumi)

With prayers and love,
S.