Tag Archives: fleeting

Giving thanks…

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Today I’m struck by how much love I have in my life. How much love I have had in my past and how much love there continues to be in my life. Surely if I were to believe in past lifetimes, this must be a special lifetime. When I pause to think of gratitude, I can only have a sense of marvel, of awe. Wow. This IS really my life. This is really the result of the choices I have made in life. We make choices at each juncture, each moment, on how we want to live our lives, what matters to us most, and what brings us most peace. Not every choice is an easy one, and many require great courage of heart.

Maybe that is why I have always had a hard time choosing a famous person as a role model. I find the ordinary person to be as much of a role model. My greatest role model is my husband who brings kindness and patience and steady presence into his life every single day. He is funny, fun, kind and positive, no matter how stressful his day. He always stops to give way to others, while driving. He always writes a thank you note for the server. He always greets me in the morning with such sweetness and love. He adores his daughter and has never raised his voice with her. And he has his share of stress for sure, like any of us. Like all of us.

My inspiration is also my daughter, my 4 year old, who is so profoundly wise and so tender and loving that my heart opens every day just a little bit more. Sometimes, it is hard to bear – like when we are having gelato and she wants to try mine but won’t let me feed her, so she spoons herself a bite from my spoon. How much she yearns for independence and how brave she is to be willing to try so many new things in life and never let things get her down. She is my angel, my darling and my shining star.

So many people have loved me with their hearts, and accepted me and embraced whom I am inside. Words cannot express how awesome that is. And I have allowed myself to receive this love – and I am only now beginning to realize what a gift that can be for others.

So, on thanksgiving weekend, here is giving thanks to all the people near and dear, family and friends, far away but not far from the heart. Thank you for being part of my life.

Celebrations…

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Sunday morning bliss. A relaxed morning listening to music after breakfast at the local diner. It has been a really good week. A week of celebration, of Anjali turning 4. First we had close friends and family for samosas and cake last weekend. And then celebration at Anjali’s classroom at her Montessori school on wednesday where I got to participate and have lunch with all the children. Then, her actual birthday on Thursday when she got a new 16” bike, as promised. This one with all the frills – white and pink with a basket in front. Anji loves biking and will do it morning, noon and night, if she could. And she has outgrown her 12” (which she rides without training wheels!). She took to her 16” like fish to water.

Speaking of water, she also had her first swim lesson on Friday, which was a true delight to witness. Being a non-swimmer myself, I was touched by how much she enjoyed being in the water and learning to swim and how she trusted her teacher immediately.

And the last party (but certainly not the least) with her neighborhood friends at the local art studio yesterday with one of her favorite teachers. (While I got to snooze at home and Abhi got to watch a movie!).

A week of celebration of time passing by. My daughter is growing. I’m so excited for her and also moved by her new strides. She stays in her room in the morning watching the clock until it shows 6.00. I could never have imagined this. And when the clock strikes 6.00, thats when she comes over to snuggle in our room.

She is a stickler for rules. She loves rules and she also loves to tell others what the rules are. Like no shoes into the house. and no coming out of your room before 6.00! :). She is wonderfully creative and can play with her baby and little guys for hours, inventing stories. She also surprises me many times with her affectionate questions. She asked me last night if when she grows up, she could sit next to me for MY bedtime. I hope when I get old, she will be sitting by me! And we also have a deal that when she grows up, she is going to get a motorbike and take me for a ride. These innocent and spontaneous love-filled moments fill my heart and I’m moved to tears. That Anji is so happy with the small things in life. Playing outside. Riding her bike. Listening to bollywood songs and singing aloud and grilling us as to what the words mean! :). Truly, life has many surprises. It has been a week when I have had tiring moments – cakes to bake, errands to run, shops to go. But it is all worth the effort when my daughter told me last night – Mama, I like everything you do. I want to paste these words so I remember them during the down moments.

Anji you are amazing, awesome, and you heal my heart and bring me joy every single day. and you are my greatest teacher – of patience, persistence and forgiveness. I love you.

Autumn Grace…

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Another beautiful fall day. Everything looks so golden these days. The light, the trees, the leaves scattered everywhere. Especially in early afternoon light, as we drive down windy roads on our way home from work and preschool. I can’t get over how beautiful this time of the year is. An entire hill shining golden brown. Or rows and rows of trees that are either yellow, orange or red. Pumpkins and orange flowers lining up houses. The contrast of the blue sky against all of this golden orangeness.

And how temperamental, how fleeting. One minute sunshine, next minute clouds. One minute the gorgeousness of the sun setting low in the sky, the next minute darkness. Perhaps that is what makes the Fall so special.

It also feels like I’m seeing this with new eyes. I don’t remembering witnessing this same beauty the last couple of years. My life has so much revolved around Anjali – my point of focus and undivided attention. And now as she is growing and so am I, it feels good to relax my attention a bit – let it broaden and take in my surroundings, the people around me and take some moments to receive this grace.

It isn’t often in life when we feel graced. Graced by presence, by friendship – inner or outer, by abundance – of good food and good health. It isn’t always that we feel fortunate, that we do the things we love and there is so much right in our lives. There are so many struggles in life, so many unknowns, such little in our control – that it can be hard to remember the graceful moments – moments which flow, which touch us, in which we love and are loved. When we are in a place of grace – those small unbidden moments – driving down the road and watching birds take flight, or wind rustling the trees outside the window or locks of hair falling over our sleeping child’s serene face or stepping outside the car, rushing to catch up to work, and stopping for just a moment to feel the contrast of fresh cool air touching the face, the breeze flowing through the hair. These small moments of grace uplift our lives, they bring delight and pause. They touch our hearts so that the ordinariness of our lives is taken to the next level : to sacredness.

Everything becomes sacred – because it is the now. And it does not last. It takes on this preciousness, whose worth only time can unfold. And it is only by relaxed attention, by leaning back instead of forward, by receiving this moment and appreciating this pause – that we can live in this space of sacredness.

So if you make your way to this sacred moment. Stay. Just for another moment.

Peace to you, S.