Tag Archives: joy

December: A season for cultivating joy through simplicity and gratitude…

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December has come to be one of my favorite months…Perhaps it is the anticipation of snow, the excitement of the holiday season and the colors of red and white…Or the joy of thinking of loved ones and what they would like for presents, the twinkling lights on the streets or the Christmas music…I love the holiday movies (that always end well!), baking treats, making chocolate bark with my daughter or stringing beads together to create unique pieces and lighting up our Christmas tree.

I’m well aware that this is a highly commercialized season, where we are constantly bombarded to go out and get more, to buy our way into happiness and stoke the craving for more. But it doesn’t have to be.

December is also the month of solstice, of quieting down, finding warmth and solace in the loving qualities of the heart like generosity, gratitude and appreciation, and of celebrating being together and sharing laughter and memories. Of being intentional of what we do and say, of being mindful of our resources and how we spend them. We can start small, and take that first step towards reigning back the momentum of habit, by inviting mindfulness and appreciating the simple beauty of this season. We can create boundaries with our time, finances and energy that protect us from over-exertion and help us cultivate nourishment and peace.

So, the next time that you are outside, slow down and notice the coolness of the air, the movement of the trees, the sound of the birds, the spectacular colors of the sunrises and the sunsets, and the twinkling of the stars in the cold still nights. When running errands, take in the sounds, smells, tastes and sights. When in grocery lines or traffic, practice sending metta towards others: wishing that they too have joy and peace in their holiday season. When frustrated, remember patience and kindness. When overwhelmed, remember the support of the ground and the breath. When entangled in clinging, remember to pause and relax.

I write this as much as a reminder to me as to you. For we need the support of each other to awaken together and live with greater compassion, wisdom and kindness. I leave you today with this winter blessing from Brother David Steindl-Rast:

May You Grow Still Enough

May you grow still enough to hear the small noises earth makes in preparing for the long sleep of winter, so that you yourself may grow calm and grounded deep within.

May you grow still enough to hear the trickling of water seeping into the ground, so that your soul may be softened and healed, and guided in its flow. May you grow still enough to hear the splintering of starlight in the winter sky and the roar at earth’s fiery core.

May you grow still enough to hear the stir of a single snowflake in the air, so that your inner silence may turn into hushed expectation.

 —  Brother David Steindl-Rast

Photo by Martin Mariani on Pexels.com

Wishing you love, peace, laughter and joy, Shuba

An equanimous mind is a spacious mind…

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Equanimity was the last session in the four week series on the brahmaviharas I led recently. All week, I held equanimity in the back of my mind, trying to settle into the flavor and balance of equanimity. Sometimes, equanimity appeared to have a calm abiding quality to it – like the peacefulness of going with the flow, knowing you are safe and going to be OK. One of the days of the week, the roof of our classroom started to leak. The students took it in their stride. The custodians appeared in minutes to fix the leak at least temporarily. I was struck by the presence of equanimity. Roof, Leak, No Problem! My students seemed so positive, it felt like they knew that we would get through it together.

At other times, equanimity seemed to have a grounded quality – still like the mountains and able to move easily like the branches of the trees in the wind, even as they wore their changing colors that would soon fade. We went on a hike that weekend and I remembered Joseph Goldstein’s words in a recent talk: “Whatever has the nature to arise will also pass away…”. On that late afternoon, it was so clear that the leaves were falling. The current in the stream was moving. So were the clouds and for a moment, it appeared that the entire mountain was shimmering.

I was touched by the beauty of impermanence and the ability of awareness to hold it without turning away. My daughter was with me and I was struck too by the fact that she too was born and therefore of the nature to change, transform and eventually move away. It made this moment that much more poignant and precious!

At other moments, equanimity appeared empty – arising when the conditions were right. Not mine, not something I could force, but more of an invitation to drop into, that was becoming more available, as I was becoming more available to equanimity. This too felt right – equanimity was of the nature to arise and there pass away. It made non-clinging more possible in the present moment. How can we hold on to something that is empty of inherent existence?

And then the times when equanimity seemed so full of kindness; a caring that was steady and could open without turning away or shutting down. Other times, equanimity was simply a space empty of any greed, hatred or ill-will. A deep settling into a place of non-contention that we call peace.

Wisdom tells me I am nothing. Love tells me I am everything. And between the two, my life flows…

-Nisargadatta Maharaj

We can appreciate this equanimous mind when it is present and that in itself conditions future such moments of equanimity to arise. In this way, we are sowing the seeds of mindfulness and kindness and when the conditions are right, these can bloom into the beautiful flowers of compassion, wisdom and equanimity.

So many flavors of equanimity…As you pause and reflect on your own experience with equanimity, what comes up for you? I would love to hear from you.

May your mindfulness continue to grow and may you experience many moments of equanimity and joy!

With care, Shuba

Tending to the soft garden within…

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There is so much happening in this world right now that feels challenging to many of us. So much seems outside our control – and so much of what we believe in – equal rights for all, respect for each other, freedom to be ourselves – seems to be on the line. So how do we practice mindfulness at a time like this?

I can’t help thinking of words from Rumi:

Outside, the freezing desert night,
This other night inside grows warm, kindling.
Let the landscape be covered with thorny crust.
We have a soft garden in here.

Along with the challenges. there is also so much beauty around us. For along with the ten thousand sorrows, we can also open to the ten thousand joys in life…We can choose where we place our attention. And as the saying goes, where the attention goes, energy flows. We can choose to linger in those moments where ease, beauty, wellness and contentment is available. The moments when we are lifted up by the kind words or smile of another or the warm embrace of a friend. The moments when generosity abounds and human spirit prevails. Moments when we are touched by awe and wonder – a sunset, the cracked ice on the pavement, the cloud formations, the sound of a bird call. And, we can choose to be kind.

Kindness is the language that we all need most right now. Individually and collectively – choosing to be kind to self and others, practicing forgiveness and letting go, remembering to pause and step back from the cycle of reactivity is what can help us bring authenticity, wisdom, compassion and love into this world. And we can begin with looking within ourselves. What are we holding on to? What can we let go of?

In Attadanda sutta (Sn 4.15, translated from the Pali by Andrew Olendzki), the Buddha says:

Seeing people locked in conflict,

I became completely distraught.

But then I discerned here a thorn

— Hard to see — lodged deep in the heart.

It’s only when pierced by this thorn

That one runs in all directions.

So if that thorn is taken out —

one does not run, and settles down.

So, what thorns can be discerned and released? What can be healed and nourished? And can we move in this world with kindness? May this inquiry serve us all and help us move towards freedom.

With love, Shuba

Cultivating restraint as a doorway to abundance…

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I love the month of December! It is a month that evokes the sentiments of celebrating snow, the people in our lives and the merriment of the holiday season. I also often find myself overwhelmed in the month of December. Any budget I set during this month quickly goes out the window and watching holiday movies and indulging in treats often leave me depleted. The word that best describes this month for me is excess. And what better time to practice restraint!? The best way we can learn the timely cultivation of balance and restraint is when we come directly face to face with overwhelm. So where and how do we start?

We start right here. where we are. By grounding in the body. Feeling the sensations of feet touching the ground. Pausing the activity. Softening and relaxing. And by reconnecting with our intention. We remember what is important. we remember the gifts that are already present in our lives. We appreciate the relationships that nourish us. We take the time to do a gratitude inventory each day as the botanist and writer Robin Wall Kimmerer reminds us. And we rejoice in the present moment and all that it has to offer – including the anxiety and overwhelm. Nothing needs to be pushed away – everything can be welcome and seen and let go of. And in this way, we move closer to freedom. I leave you with one of my favorites:

Humble living does not diminish.  It fills.
Going back to a simpler self gives wisdom.

When a man makes up a story for his child,
he becomes a father and a child
together, listening.

~Rumi

With love, S.

Awakening Beauty, Peace, and Freedom in Ordinary Moments | Mindfulness Practice

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So much of our life is filled with ordinary moments. Like waking up. Brushing our teeth. Having breakfast. Going for work. Grocery shopping. Walking in the neighborhood. Talking to friends. Reading a book. Do these ordinary moments have the potential to wake us up to beauty, peace and freedom? This inquiry has guided most of my life and practice these past few years.

In my experience, mindfulness is very much flavored by kindness and caring. We pay attention because we care and vice versa. The Buddha talks about metta (loosely translated as friendliness or kindness) as an abiding/quality/recollection that:

“Whether standing or walking, seated or lying down
Free from drowsiness,
One should sustain this recollection.
This is said to be the sublime abiding”.

-Buddha (in Karaniya Metta Sutta)

So this practice of mindfulness/insight meditation/clear seeing is very much about being present and wakeful in every part of our day. And especially in noticing the every day moments of ease, joy and wonder and turning towards what is wholesome.

In Buddhism, it’s considered appropriate and helpful to cultivate and enhance our well-being. It is all too easy to overlook the well-being that is easily available in daily life. Even taking time to enjoy one’s tea or the sunset can be a training in letting in well-being.

-Gil Fronsdal, Tricycle, 2022

The urgency in my own practice has arisen from wanting to be present for as much as possible of my daughter’s childhood. First when she was an infant, then a toddler, a preschooler, and now – a teen. She inspires me to practice every day. Talking about mindfulness isn’t the same as practice! It becomes very clear when I am with her. Am I walking the walk? Am I present when she shares her worries and fears? When she shares her joys and excitement? What is the quality of attention? Is there kindness? And am I present for the ordinary moments – of walking alongside her and getting a glimpse of the world through her eyes.

It turns out it doesn’t matter why we practice – because slowly our brains start to rewire. The urgency I felt to be awake in her presence spread to others. My time with my beloved too was precious. So was my time with my students, with my parents, my friends, my colleagues and those around me. How I showed up for others mattered. How I showed up for myself mattered.

And that is the magic of mindfulness – these new neuronal pathways that are created simply by paying attention – they make it possible for us to wake up and see clearly the truth of the way things are. Life is impermanent. There is joy. Peace is possible. On this day, in this moment, right here, right now. We just need to show up for it!

With love, S.

The presence of connection…

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I read this quote recently from Gabor Mate:

“Safety is not the absence of threat but the presence of connection.”

-Gabor Mate

I was spending a week at Exeter, NH at a math camp for educators, and it was a week of immersion – in fun math problems, collaboration, connection and learning. And as I was navigating this week, my practice was becoming aware of the absence of ill-will, unease, discomfort and stress. One of the reasons for attuning to this was that sleep had been strangely elusive in the dorm rooms and after a couple of days of this, I was starting to feel very tired. Noticing the absence of stress and tension was a way of staying present and realizing that even if I was tired, there need not be judgment or tightness around it.

Sometimes at these events, the tiredness and social interactions can manifest in me as reactivity towards personalities or ideas. Somehow this week however, there was complete absence of this reactivity perhaps due to conditions both internal and external. Externally, I was in classes with some exceptionally kind educators – thoughtful and generous. Internally, I was able to bring a steadiness and care towards my work. And solving problems and learning with others were both feeling so good for my brain that it didn’t seem to matter that I was tired!

So mid-week, when I read this quote from Gabor Mate, I realized (for the nth time!) that awareness of the absence of dis-ease is the space that opens to the presence of ease. The absence of ill-will lends itself to the unfolding of good-will or metta (loving-kindness). The absence of stress and disconnection allows for the presence of connection. And friendship flowers in the presence of connection.

Earlier this year, I had made a small laminated card of the seven awakening factors for my mindfulness sangha, with the key words offered by buddhist teacher Gil Fronsdal. So, as I sat each morning, I practiced with the seven awakening factors on my card- noticing what was present and what was absent – with curiosity and care – rather than one more thing to beat myself about. I noticed that even when energy was absent, there was kindness. And at times, curiosity was present even if tranquility was not. And one afternoon, walking across the green to one of the sessions, I realized that equanimity was mostly always present! I was able to connect with others easily, let go of any judging and comparing that arose, and I was able to forgive myself and move away from the self-judgment that sometimes seems so ready at hand when tired. And the practice of listening deeply with an open mind and heart was helping me lean into the gift of connection.

So….I am now back at home and enjoyed a good night’s sleep – the first one since Sunday! And I leave you today with this poem I found taped in one of the bathrooms at Phillips Exeter – it inspired me and I hope you find it helpful as well!

With love, Shuba

Opening our hearts…

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We spent a few days of our Christmas break at Nassau in the Bahamas, a real treat for our family. The ocean, the blue waters, the sand on my feet, and leisurely time with my family – all were healing to my nervous system. Returning from our break, and settling back into winter in New England, albeit a mild one so far, I’m so grateful we could have this time together – it feels like such a precious gift, one that is helping me center and open to this new year with fresh eyes.

My greatest dharma teacher, my daughter on the beach in Nassau, on Christmas Day.

In a tradition inspired by a fellow blogger, I have been setting an intention for each year with a word/phrase. Last year’s word was Savor; and savor I did! Savoring each moment of connection, the joys that came my way, the friendships, the adventures and travels, the learnings and growth. And it has filled my heart with so much gratitude and love! This year, my word for the year is Open: Opening to not-knowing, opening to the mystery and wonder, opening my heart to being touched and opening to the goodness.

So, today, I leave you with this offering from my heart – a poem – my New Year’s gift to you! May your new year be filled with many moments of peace, joy and awakening!

The little moments come by

and touch me like the sand particles

held in my palm – gingerly, tenderly.

Some stick while others fall away,

leaving the tiniest trace

like the footprints once washed away,

leave a well for the waters to fill in,

a tiny puddle that carries

the deep blue ocean

within.

– Subha srinivasan

With Love, S.

Attune to Emergence…

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It has been a while since I wrote in this space. As a high school teacher, the first couple of months of the school year is a busy time for me – getting through the first quarter of school schedule. And somehow, now that November is here, I am able to breathe a bit more easily – knowing that Thanksgiving break is around the corner.

A lot has happened in these couple of months in terms of writing and teaching. Firstly, my reflections from retreat this summer was published in the Valley Insight newsletter, thanks to the support and encouragement of my teacher and friend Doreen Schweizer. And then, it was picked up by the Barre center of Buddhist Studies (BCBS) and published in their sangha newsletter with my permission. This came about because the BCBS director receives our very own Valley Insight newsletter! This was definitely a surprising event – both in how this unfolded and what a small and connected world we live in. You can find it here, reprinted exactly from ours.

Earlier this Fall, I felt some sadness – the momentum of my learning and teaching during my teacher certification program had slowed and I missed the intensity of the learning. I also welcomed this opening of flexibility in choosing what I listened to and practiced in terms of dharma and the time to delve into what interested me. It has been a lovely surprise for me to have this time open up in this new way. I have continued offering a monthly drop-in series which has been a gift for me in my own practice thanks to the generosity of yogis who have showed up for them. You can find my recordings under guided meditations tab. I have also co-taught a monthly three-part series on Insight dialogue which is my new passion!

Insight dialogue makes insight meditation inter-relational. Developed by Greg Kramer, this is a series of guidelines that combine mindfulness, concentration and insight/wisdom to bring to our lives, especially in relationships both with ourselves and others. The guidelines are Pause, Relax, Open, Attune to emergence, Listen Deeply and Speak the truth. The book by Greg Kramer is a wonderful manual to the practice – and practicing with others through the series and the summer retreat has deepened my own practice and joy. It has opened up a door to the mystery in each moment by attuning to: what is changing, how am I relating to this moment and how can I soften? It is also a practice, which when combined with contemplation of suttas (scriptures) from early buddhist texts, can lead to wonderful and insightful dialogue and great joy!

I find that each day, each week, a different guideline speaks to me. Right now, it is the mystery of not knowing, of attuning to emergence. Even when I plan what is coming, I don’t know what the moment will bring. How do I stay open to that? And this opening to surprises – and how I respond to them – is teaching me a lot about myself. I had the surprise of getting Covid recently. The surprise of receiving help and support and well wishes from others. The surprise of recovering well and feeling healthy again. The surprise of friendship – my own and that of others. The surprise of opening to not knowing!

As the world tilts on its axis in many ways that are challenging, how do we open truly to not knowing and to the possibility of freedom and love in this moment, no matter what? Perhaps, the answer can be found in one such contemplation Bhadra (Lucky):

Lucky to be walking a Path
that finds peace
in the arising
and passing
away
of
each
present
moment.

Regardless
of how things
work out
or don’t.

From “The First Free Women: Poems of the Early Buddhist Nuns”
Translated by Matty Weingast
Shambhala, 2020

So, as we head into Thanksgiving, may there be many gifts in your life of opening to wonder and joy!

With gratefulness, S.

Letting in and Letting go…

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This morning, I was greeted by an unexpected sight – my 13 year old daughter making crepes for us for breakfast. Using a recipe from her French class, she made the batter, cooked the crepes, put in toppings and set up the table for us. It was a delightful sight and so were the crepes – truly yum! Another sign that my daughter is growing up.

In her gaining a couple of inches over me in what feels like overnight, I’m noticing that some things are easier. Her cheek is right next to mine when we stand – easier to give her a kiss. Easier to put my arms around her shoulders when we walk. More grown-up conversations. The love that fills my heart for her reminds me how attached I am to her. As a Buddhist I used to think in my beginning days that this practice was about being detached. And slowly, over many years of this practice, I’ve come to realize that the opposite is true. Be interested, enter the moment fully, feel the care, the incredible love. And hold it lightly.

I have been thinking a lot of T.S.Eliot’s words: to care and not to care. As parents, caring is our job. We care so much! And we learn to let go. To know that the outcome is beyond our control. We show up and we let go. Over and over. And we do this because time passes us by so quickly. Before we know it, the people in our lives grow and change. And this brings urgency into our lives – we show up now for the crepes, for the hugs, the laughter, the stories, the drama, the mundane and the sublime. And we fill our hearts with it. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

With love, Shuba

Opening to what is…

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Taken in Ooty, Rose Gardens, July 2023

I’m writing on my last day here in India, where I have been for the past three weeks or so – in Chennai, Mumbai, Ooty and back to Chennai. Returning to my home town after six years, it has been quite the trip.

Among the many experiences, what stands out for me is the kindness, the friendliness and care that has come through these past weeks. In meeting old and dear friends after many years, I have been touched by love and gratitude for having some incredibly awesome people in my life. In meeting relatives with whom I haven’t done a great job of staying in touch with, I have been touched by warmth, openness and generosity. And the kindness of everyday folks – the maids, the cook, the watchman, the ironing guy, the cab guy, the hotel staff, the temple folks, the shop keepers – it sure cracks the heart wide open like a coconut!

Sometimes, the stress of simply going from one place to another feels frustrating and at other times, the equanimity of those who do this everyday and manage to keep their cool is inspiring. Cows that wait patiently at the coffee house next to humans, monkeys that climb on tall trees waiting to sneak out your food, dogs on streets lazing in the heat and people who go about their way without complaints. How can I hold the contradictions in life with equanimity? That seemed to be the theme everyday here in India.

Taken in Ooty, Tamil Nadu, India

Among the sensory overload that is India, especially after a long time away, what I am most grateful for are three things. The first one is time with my family. I am grateful this was possible and that we could spend some quality time together, both at home and through travel and sightseeing. Eating my moms home cooked food was awesome and so special. I also enjoyed some amazing North Indian food at my in-laws and the celebratory South Indian meals at the functions I could attend during my time here.

The second thing I am grateful for is my meditation cushion. Seriously! It’s the first time I have traveled with my cushion and I almost removed it from the suitcase in lieu of carrying other things when my husband reminded me that I should stick to my plan. Having my cushion with me reminded me to sit everyday. To make time for my mind to settle, and to remember what was nourishing for my spirit. It was also deeply grounding amidst all the travel and it allowed me to stay connected to presence and remember to relax when possible.

The last thing I am grateful for is traveling with my daughter Anjali. A beam of light in my life and also light hearted, Anji rode the waves of change easily – whether it was new food or new place or new people. It was so fun to show her the hangouts that I went to as a child, to introduce her to new people including those who have known me since I was her age or younger, and to sleep with her in the same room that I slept with my grandma so many years ago…she is a continuum of the life that has flowed down through generations. And Anji moved between worlds with such ease and grace, it inspired me to hold my experience with lightness and let go of any expectations.

My daughter examining tea leaves in the Nilgiris hills.

So here I am – on my final day, my heart full of a mixture of emotions. Peace, thankfulness, joy and anticipation of returning home, sadness that I won’t see my parents and friends here for some time. It will perhaps be a year or two – and more things would have changed. But not everything. Not the care, the love and the deep friendships that are part and parcel of this place I grew up in.

With gratitude, S.