Tag Archives: kindness

Tending to the soft garden within…

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There is so much happening in this world right now that feels challenging to many of us. So much seems outside our control – and so much of what we believe in – equal rights for all, respect for each other, freedom to be ourselves – seems to be on the line. So how do we practice mindfulness at a time like this?

I can’t help thinking of words from Rumi:

Outside, the freezing desert night,
This other night inside grows warm, kindling.
Let the landscape be covered with thorny crust.
We have a soft garden in here.

Along with the challenges. there is also so much beauty around us. For along with the ten thousand sorrows, we can also open to the ten thousand joys in life…We can choose where we place our attention. And as the saying goes, where the attention goes, energy flows. We can choose to linger in those moments where ease, beauty, wellness and contentment is available. The moments when we are lifted up by the kind words or smile of another or the warm embrace of a friend. The moments when generosity abounds and human spirit prevails. Moments when we are touched by awe and wonder – a sunset, the cracked ice on the pavement, the cloud formations, the sound of a bird call. And, we can choose to be kind.

Kindness is the language that we all need most right now. Individually and collectively – choosing to be kind to self and others, practicing forgiveness and letting go, remembering to pause and step back from the cycle of reactivity is what can help us bring authenticity, wisdom, compassion and love into this world. And we can begin with looking within ourselves. What are we holding on to? What can we let go of?

In Attadanda sutta (Sn 4.15, translated from the Pali by Andrew Olendzki), the Buddha says:

Seeing people locked in conflict,

I became completely distraught.

But then I discerned here a thorn

— Hard to see — lodged deep in the heart.

It’s only when pierced by this thorn

That one runs in all directions.

So if that thorn is taken out —

one does not run, and settles down.

So, what thorns can be discerned and released? What can be healed and nourished? And can we move in this world with kindness? May this inquiry serve us all and help us move towards freedom.

With love, Shuba

Coming home: a practice for the new year…

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Photo by Sindre Fs on Pexels.com

In the buddhist circles, often at the beginning of a retreat or meditation, a new year or new cycle, we chant the three refuges. With the three refuges, we take refuge in the Buddha, the Dhamma and the Sangha. Taking refuge in the Buddha is about coming home to the the awakened one within ourselves. Refuge in the Dhamma is about coming home to the deepest truths of the way things are. And refuge in the Sangha is about coming home to the community that sustains us, nourishes us and supports us in moving towards freedom. Most days, in my evening prayer, after lighting the candle, I use the three refuges to help ground me and remind me of why I practice and what is important and how to show up for my life.

I’m struck by this practice of coming home, especially at the turn of this new year. This practice of coming home is essentially what mindfulness is: coming home over and over again to the here and the now. For, this present moment is where the possibility of freedom is, the transformative power of love is. In a new translation of Rumi given to me by a dear friend, the first verse in the first poem in the book (Gold, translated by Haleh Liza Gafori), says:

“Let Love

the water of life,

flow through our veins”

-Rumi

In coming home, we return to this source, this love, this awareness which includes everything. The difficult and sublime thoughts, the aches and pains, the heartbreak, irritations, anger, sadness, grief as well as the joy, peace, ease, delight and enjoyment. And everything in between. This space has tremendous tenderness, aliveness, wisdom, intuition and grace. When we start to sense into this mystery – that nothing is separate from this flow of life, of love, of light, there is only one way to live: with compassion and kindness. To appreciate the gifts of each day. To allow ourselves to drop our armoring and be touched by life, by beauty and by gratitude.

May this new year allow you to come home and find many moments of peace and joy!

With love, S.

January: reflections…

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How the life of a mother evolves…When I got into motherhood more than four years ago, I had no idea what I was getting into. Now four years into it, I’m learning what this is possibly about.

Patience. Enormous patience. Patience with oneself, patience with our partner, with our child, with others. Kindness. Kindness in those moments when we don’t know what is wrong, or what is happening. We don’t know why. Kindness and softening. That to me, appears to be a life-long learning. And the indescribable love and delight in life. Truly opening to what life has to offer – the not knowing, the mysteries and the day-to-day joys. When Anjali and I share our cuddles, I am complete and healed from every possible wound and hurt, internal and external. This embrace, loving, completely accepting is something I am always touched by. Sometimes if I am particularly overwhelmed, or my daughter is, we will do one-minute hugs. Just sit and hug for a complete minute with no agenda in mind. I love those moments!

Perhaps all children have this amazing capacity of appreciation and being present. I see when watching Anji’s buddies at school playing – how much fun kids have. We as adults are so much jaded. They seem so much more into adventure and lack of worrying about the future or self-critisicm about the past. When I am truly stressed, that is usually a sign that I need to be attentive and observe more and do less. It doesn’t take long for my daughter to inspire me. Perhaps it is the patience and presence she brings into her moment – whether she is beading, drawing or leaping joyously across our living room rug pretending to be a princess or on the beach. The innate capacity we all have to entertain, enliven and be happy is so inspiring to me. When I read books to her, or when I make up stories, which has been the new favorite thing, I feel connected to the flow of life. Present somehow. Wiser somehow. This is it. this is the joy I too felt when I was a child – of discovering something new, the thrill of learning something different, of figuring it out, of finding my own capacity to do something. And it all comes back. Maybe being a mother is at the end, about being a child all over again.

I don’t have all the words – perhaps I never will. Staying indoors, reflecting on this cold January afternoon seems to be right in expressing some of this…maybe more will come later… I would love to hear from others…

Peace and warmth to you,
Shuba