The beauty, ordinariness and extraordinariness of not knowing…

Photo by Autumn Mott Rodeheaver on Unsplash

The more I practice mindfulness in my daily life, the more I’m struck by the ordinariness and extraordinariness of each moment. It’s like this rewiring that is happening so slowly that I can’t see the mechanics of it but I can feel that something is changing, slowly, gradually and over time. Like the turning of grapes into wine – a metaphor so often used by Rumi.

When grapes turn
to wine, they long for our ability to change.

When stars wheel
around the North Pole,
they are longing for our growing consciousness.

– Rumi

With mindfulness, we start to loosen our habitual ways of categorizing our experience as like or dislike as we often have a tendency to do. And we are somehow left with more openness, more space and more choice in responding. The definition of relationships and the expectations of ourselves and others start to fall away and we start to see clearly. Like removing a pair of glasses that were foggy and we didn’t know we had them on!

When we experience each moment directly in this embodied way, there seems to be this incredible newness – a sort of not knowing that seems to flavor our experience. Suddenly each moment feels so much richer – without needing words to describe it or label it. Simple acts like cooking, taking a walk, talking to a partner, working on an interesting problem or meeting with a friend take on a new hue.

We also start to become aware of this incredible vulnerability that underlies all of our lives – we don’t know what could happen tomorrow, or in an hour from now, or even next moment. We might think we do, but actually we don’t. Not really. This not knowing, when seen through the lens of kindness and empty of the ideas of me and mine, suddenly feels so liberating and tender. When we truly experience the truth of this vulnerability, how can we not reach out and help each other? How can we not take care of this body, our body, that feels so fragile at times? How can we not appreciate the blessings in our lives, the people who show up for us and the sheer abundance that Earth provides us with, no questions asked? Mary Oliver aptly says:

Pay attention.

Be astonished.

Tell about it.

– Mary Oliver

So this is my invitation: can you simply pause in this moment, breathe and notice what is happening? Can you take in the sheer miracle of staying alive? Each leaf that is falling to the ground is imploring and reminding you of the truth of letting go. Can you let go, truly let go and surrender to this moment? It is a huge task. And yet it is ours, and not by the century or the year, but by the hours (Mary Oliver).

With love, Shuba

The goldfinches…

Greetings on a rainy spring day from New England. As I type this blog, two goldfinches are right outside our window at the bird feeder, patiently having their meal/snack. They are not multi-tasking, they are not talking, they are in the moment, eating. Nothing else. Isn’t that cool!? That feels like a luxury these days. How any days have you been completely mindful of what you are eating in the moment, and not multi-tasking (or thinking other thoughts/planning? ). For me, it is very few. Mostly by the time I remember, I am at the last few bites, which I try at least to remember to eat mindfully.

While there is so much I want to write about: about why it has been so long since I wrote in this space and what is happening in my world and about the realizations and insights and circumstances of my life, what I find myself writing about, are these gold finches.

Right now, one waits patiently in the branch while the others complete their feed. They don’t fight, there seems no animosity or sense of ‘lack’. The bird on the branch seems as content waiting as the bird on the feeder. When I saw this the first time, I thought it was pretty cool, especially since this bird feeder is only about a month old. After the long winter, surely there must be a dearth of food. I would have thought they would be fighting. Atleast if they were human beings, they probably would. They never seem to. And again, they seem to bring this complete presence to the moment, a simplicity of purpose.

Sometimes, bigger birds come by to see what the fuss is about. We have seen a blue jay and a pigeon in addition to robins. They seem to lose interest once they realize the feeder is too small for them. They don’t seem to disturb the smaller birds. which in itself is interesting to me.

Among the smaller birds, we have seen chickadees, other finches, the junco in particular and the goldfinches and sparrows. It strikes me again and again how colorful and cool and completely accepting of others, each bird appears to be. I find myself looking forward to seeing these little ones every day. Its like this greeting they bring to our lives, without which something is incomplete.

In honor of these birds, let me end with a beloved Rumi quote as translated by Coleman Barks:

Birds make great, sky-circles of their freedom.

How do they learn it? They fall. And in falling

Are given wings

 

If you would like, do check out Mary Oliver’s poem ‘Invitation’, another favorite of mine, about goldfinches in particular.

Peace and metta to you,

Shuba

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