Tag Archives: pause

Cultivating restraint as a doorway to abundance…

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Photo by Tabitha Mort on Pexels.com

I love the month of December! It is a month that evokes the sentiments of celebrating snow, the people in our lives and the merriment of the holiday season. I also often find myself overwhelmed in the month of December. Any budget I set during this month quickly goes out the window and watching holiday movies and indulging in treats often leave me depleted. The word that best describes this month for me is excess. And what better time to practice restraint!? The best way we can learn the timely cultivation of balance and restraint is when we come directly face to face with overwhelm. So where and how do we start?

We start right here. where we are. By grounding in the body. Feeling the sensations of feet touching the ground. Pausing the activity. Softening and relaxing. And by reconnecting with our intention. We remember what is important. we remember the gifts that are already present in our lives. We appreciate the relationships that nourish us. We take the time to do a gratitude inventory each day as the botanist and writer Robin Wall Kimmerer reminds us. And we rejoice in the present moment and all that it has to offer – including the anxiety and overwhelm. Nothing needs to be pushed away – everything can be welcome and seen and let go of. And in this way, we move closer to freedom. I leave you with one of my favorites:

Humble living does not diminish.  It fills.
Going back to a simpler self gives wisdom.

When a man makes up a story for his child,
he becomes a father and a child
together, listening.

~Rumi

With love, S.

Pause and Relax…

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This morning I have a chance to do just that – Pause and Relax! It is a snow day and I’m home because school was cancelled. So, I could wake up later than usual and luxuriate in what might be the last snow of the season. The bird activity outside our window is at a high point and I feel the distinct absence of urgency – nothing else feels as pressing as simply being here, watching the birds with my morning chai and banana muffin.

Photo by Anji Sharma

Sometimes this pause comes our way due to circumstances (like this snow!) and at other times, it is a choice we make – to pause and slow down the activity. We do this as an act of care towards ourselves and others – to allow the reactivity to calm down, to notice the momentum that we are almost always caught in. We then have the space to allow the wisdom of our body and heart-mind to inform our next moment.

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

Viktor E. frankl

Sometimes, we are able to notice the impact of this pause, the freedom, in a big way: maybe we stop ourselves from saying something unkind or we restrain ourselves from hasty action. Other times, the impact of these pauses are imperceptible – a slight shifting in the tide – listening instead of speaking, settling instead of urging, tasting instead of swallowing, seeing instead of scanning past. And somehow, like the ripples in a pond created by a small pebble, the peace that is possible as a result of these tiny pauses ripple out into our worlds – we can show up with greater calmness, compassion and wisdom.

Does this feel true to you in your practice? Does pausing and relaxing/settling into the moment bring greater peace? I invite you to reflect on this inquiry, as a way of sustaining mindfulness. This morning, watching the wind through the pine trees, I feel tremendous gratitude and appreciation for the many gifts of being alive. What is present for you in this moment?

With love,

Shuba

Balance…

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I was reading a magazine today and came across the bio of the author: ‘she balances being senior editor with yoga and teaching’, or something of the kind. I have read so many such bios, and written such bios of myself. Somehow today it made me pause: the word, ‘Balance’. We are always balancing. We are juggling so many things in life, and learning to balance on the ice, without letting it all drop. We lose our balance a lot – and that’s partly how we learn which direction we have to lean again – to regain our balance.

This month has been a lot about this lesson of balance for me. After a packed few months of so many events – birthdays, Diwali, Halloween, and work and doing too many things, my body took a pause. I had a really bad cold and it lasted for about 10 days. It forced me to get a lot of rest, less of talking, less of doing, and more of surrender. It was a reminder that we can’t always do things simply by force of will. The heart needs to follow. And as the beautiful poem by Daniel Mead, pasted on the door of my room reminds me, ‘a flower cannot be opened by a hammer’.

I had taken up swim lessons and confronting my deep fears from nearly drowning once. Watching Anji had inspired me and I was determined to ‘do it!’ this time. My body did not feel the same way. I have managed to attend classes once a week instead of two – and have had a lot of pain in left arm from possibly over-rotating. And then I couldn’t go, because I got sick. Maybe group lessons are not for me. I have also realized that maybe no push is needed.. Maybe the only deadline is my own. Maybe it will all happen in good time. Maybe I don’t need to ‘swim’ by tomorrow!

I had also resolved in the beginning of November, to commit to a more regular yoga practice. This has also been really powerful. It has also brought many questions into my attention. What modifications can I offer myself when I am sick? Can I be kind? Can I redefine success? I have not been on my yoga mat everyday, but my resolution has been successful nevertheless. I have come to yoga more often, and that has been super. I also found that since I had committed to only 5 poses, that was simple to practice and I didn’t always need to dedicate 45 minutes to an hour to practice. Sometimes 20 minutes was plenty. I also found that I had to bring mindfulness to how much I wanted to do each day, where my body was, and which poses. It has been a creative exercise as well as one of bringing attention. I have done poses I haven’t in a long time. I have also just showed up and done legs up the wall pose. My body leading the way has made me happier. And realizing that there is nobody else judging this but myself has been liberating, as always. I can be softer, kinder and when I do, I miraculously bring this into my life.

As Rumi says, ‘let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground’. May all our paths lead to more ways of discovering this…

Peace to you and happy thanksgiving!

Shuba

The goldfinches…

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Greetings on a rainy spring day from New England. As I type this blog, two goldfinches are right outside our window at the bird feeder, patiently having their meal/snack. They are not multi-tasking, they are not talking, they are in the moment, eating. Nothing else. Isn’t that cool!? That feels like a luxury these days. How any days have you been completely mindful of what you are eating in the moment, and not multi-tasking (or thinking other thoughts/planning? ). For me, it is very few. Mostly by the time I remember, I am at the last few bites, which I try at least to remember to eat mindfully.

While there is so much I want to write about: about why it has been so long since I wrote in this space and what is happening in my world and about the realizations and insights and circumstances of my life, what I find myself writing about, are these gold finches.

Right now, one waits patiently in the branch while the others complete their feed. They don’t fight, there seems no animosity or sense of ‘lack’. The bird on the branch seems as content waiting as the bird on the feeder. When I saw this the first time, I thought it was pretty cool, especially since this bird feeder is only about a month old. After the long winter, surely there must be a dearth of food. I would have thought they would be fighting. Atleast if they were human beings, they probably would. They never seem to. And again, they seem to bring this complete presence to the moment, a simplicity of purpose.

Sometimes, bigger birds come by to see what the fuss is about. We have seen a blue jay and a pigeon in addition to robins. They seem to lose interest once they realize the feeder is too small for them. They don’t seem to disturb the smaller birds. which in itself is interesting to me.

Among the smaller birds, we have seen chickadees, other finches, the junco in particular and the goldfinches and sparrows. It strikes me again and again how colorful and cool and completely accepting of others, each bird appears to be. I find myself looking forward to seeing these little ones every day. Its like this greeting they bring to our lives, without which something is incomplete.

In honor of these birds, let me end with a beloved Rumi quote as translated by Coleman Barks:

Birds make great, sky-circles of their freedom.

How do they learn it? They fall. And in falling

Are given wings. 

 

If you would like, do check out Mary Oliver’s poem ‘Invitation’, another favorite of mine, about goldfinches in particular.

Peace and metta to you,

Shuba

photo-19

Happenings on Winter Break…

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One of the best things about my job as a high school teacher is that when Anjali has a snow day at her preschool, I do too. And when she has winter break, so do I. Hallelujah!

I had a lot of plans last weekend, facing an entire week ahead of time in the mornings to myself (with Anji at art camp). Time to catch up on work, have coffee with friends, saunter along on the main street, and do yoga and read poetry. On Monday morning, things were off to a good start. I did some work and went to yoga class after dropping off Anji. And then I went to pick up Anji. As soon as I saw her, I knew something was off. She was sitting in a daze, and looking…well.. a bit ashen. We came home and she threw up. One of many throw ups. Followed then were two days of my being dedicated mom to sick child. Lots of lap time, reading books (or same books over and over again) and cuddling with my little one. Comforting tears, cleaning up messes, and giving hugs.

Once I let my agendas drop, it was nice to pause and slow down. Anji is usually so much on the move all the time – that it was nice to snuggle with her as much as I did. We listened to sounds – to snow trucks clear the drive ways, the sound of water dripping after a shower, and to sounds of waves on our phone. Time paused. We saw Aamir Khan in ‘Taare Zameen Par’ painting with eight year old boy Ishaan. We made cookies (though of course Anji didn’t want any) and we slept a lot. Or she slept and while she did, I sat next to her and graded papers. And every now and then, looking at her sleeping face resting in complete surrender and peace, I felt a welling of tenderness. A reminder of the fleetingness of time.

So, time comes a full circle – sometimes in a short time. On this friday morning, I have dropped off Anji at her art camp, happy and herself again. She managed to eat some breakfast (miracle!) and with a peppy smile, waved a big good bye to me from the window as I drove off. What a sweet start to the morning.

There are some things we could never plan for, that turn out to be the sweetest of all things – moments that we cherish, love that fills our hearts and a softness that carries through our smile to others. May yours be a day with some or all of these things.

With Love, S.